


why must I burn

by evilythedwarf



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-18
Updated: 2011-10-18
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilythedwarf/pseuds/evilythedwarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark gen, Mark/Kathleen if you squint, a very hypothetical take on what therapy must be like for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	why must I burn

He picks them like this: they have to be hot. They have to be hot because inevitably, he’s going to fuck them and if he can’t get the women he wants, he should at least get hot women. Basic logic of his life. (If he can’t get a family of his own, he could at least get a good one – this one he doesn’t like to think about. Ever) 

That first session, when they sit (face to face because they’re  **equals**  and it’s a space of sharing and non-judging) and he smiles and she smiles (can’t help themselves, he’s got that  **something** )? He knows then how it’s going to play out and eventually, he becomes an expert and can almost tell exactly  **when**.

He’s Mark Sloan and screwed up in so many different ways that he doesn’t even need to get too deep for them to start thinking he’s one wounded puppy who needs someone to love him. After that it’s all very easy.

(Then there’s the one who never gave up on him, who got him to start and got him to stop. Again, this he doesn’t like to think about. Ever.)

Therapy would be easy even if he didn’t already know everything they’re going to throw his way, he just sits and talks and smiles and looks away when it gets a little hard and his throat gets a little tight and then – when it gets too raw and too deep – he fucks them against the wall, on their desks, on their ridiculously expensive leather couches. 

You have to be smart, to become a psychiatrist you have to be smart and sometimes, Mark just likes to sit and talk to a smart woman who just listens. The problem is, he pays insane amounts of money and they don’t just listen, they talk too, and they tell him things he is well aware of and has no desire of changing (doesn’t know how to change, really) and that’s when things go bad and he has to bang them and start over from scratch.

(Except for that one who… does it really has to be said, now? The one he doesn’t think about because it’s scary, far too scary to think he can actually fuck the girl who made him braid her Barbies’ blonde platinum hair. Reverse those two last words.)

He tells himself he’s stopped (and he has, after that last time after Addison left and Derek was gone and he just wanted someone to talk to – over coffee, perfectly innocent) but then his self-loathing reaches the kind of levels where he can’t even stand himself and he knocks on someone’s door, and the woman who answers, she’s probably 60 and looks it. He steps in anyway and maybe this one will be it. After all, he only likes to fuck hot women. 

  
♥


End file.
